Monday 25 June 2007

A Bit of Honesty

So its another week in the Hagwon and yet again its only Tuesday and I feel as though its about Thursday already! Okay! I love my Hagwon but it can be hard work sometimes and really frustrating with the language barriers and the repetitive Joanne... Joanne... doanne...do.. do...teecher.. teecher.. teeacher....I hear this in my sleep zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.Arrrrrrrgggggghhhhhhhhhhh !!!!!!

Considering Ive never worked with kids full time before I think Im doing an okay job but sometimes it can just be so frustrating. Sometimes I just think..am I really helping these kids? I know deep down I am coz Ive seen progress in students Ive taught and stuff but sometimes when I dont see progress straight away I get bothered. When other teachers get the praise for the work that Ive put in it gets me down and I just think why am I putting in so much effort when its not recognised? I know this is SO bad for me to think. I just cant help it sometimes. I know its wrong! I know I should want to help teach these kids and not care if I dont get the credit for it but when its done sneakily its gets right up my nose. I find it hard to really talk to my co-workers about the teaching as the only English speaking teacher here has a male, korean, power issue with interpretating.

I guess sometimes in life we have people we clash with. I have definatley got one I clash with at this point in my life. LOL. Despite this fact Im trying. Very hard. For once Im trying to be a peace maker, to bite my tongue every hour of the day when I have a short class change and grab a quick cup of coffee in the staff room. Its tough. My hagwon has another English speaking contest coming up this month. Ive not been asked to help which is great coz Im busy enough (!) but last time my co worker asked me to write one of the speeches to help him so I did as it was easy for me and I had lots of time back then to help out. He was really worried as he said he didnt have the time and it was difficult for him to write. I researched it ad wrote most of it and one of the children won from our hagwon which was great :) (I think she got second prize) However my coworker didnt make it known that I had written most of the speech therefore he got the credit for it. I also found out that it also helped him to get a pay rise...dont get me wrong he works hard but argggggggghhhhhh ! A few other minor things have happened which makes me just think I cant trust him like him asking if I can lend him huge amounts of money and not tell the rest of our co-workers or manager.Its such a shame. I really crave a good conversation in the day, a good friend in between my lessons to chat with. Now Im just really quite wary of what I say and do, things I shouldnt have to worry about.

Anyway, I am not perfect myself and am a constant work in progress. Maybe I get under his skin as much as he gets under mine... I freakin' hope not :(

Anyway, like I said Im trying my best and am praying about it! We have good days and bad days, good times and happy times and there are people who we struggle with and who we just have to try with even though we dont really want to. Im learning that we've got to just try to keep a smile on our faces throughout even the testing times even if its really difficult! Even with the difficult people... arrghhh.

So today as Im drawing my anorexic, diseased ox (coz I cant draw to save my life ) and my rather chubby, short legged ostrich on my white board for a class room full of screaming kids, (my ears ringing of course) I try to just smile and look at the good things here. I REALLY dont wanna be a witch teacher that the kids remember when they look back a few years down the line. I wanna be remembered as the nice, smily, foreign teacher from that little place called England who was just lovely! AI was with a Korean mate of mine on Sunday and as we were walking down the road an ex pupil of hers bumped into her and started shaking incontrollably with tears. I couldnt believe it. I was so touched. He had really missed her and she obviously had such a big impact on him that he broke down when he saw her. It spoke volumes to me. Its so hard though sometimes to be the happy, energetic teacher full of light! Dont get me wrong, I usually am ;) but after certain comments in the day... oh it just grates on my soul.

The same co worker I have a problem with said to me a few weeks ago that sometimes he feels like he's the only one who cares about the students at the hagwon and I suddenly felt really upset. Did he REALLY, SERIOUSLY think this was true or was it just another sneaky way of getting to me again when I put in so much hard work there? I do care about these kids here and I think deep down he knows it but I am just baffled to why I get these comments thrown at me? Could someone please explain ?!!!!!!! lol

Anyway Im going on randomly again and havent written anything interesting for a while I suppose ! Ive been very busy with appointments and meetings and stuff. Me and my Korean friend arranged to go for a chill out morning last week. We spent the morning in the jimjilbang and then she treated me to an amazing facial locally. I felt like a princess. This ajuma made my skin glow! Te weekend was pretty busy too. Helped out with Compassionate Ministries in the morning and then dinner and shopping with Isabel and Juri. The weather is getting evenmore humid and the mossies are rife! They seem to love my knees and despite my to attempts to keep them away (my anti - mossie plug ins and various amounts of anti mossie sprays) somehow they still find a way to nibble away at me leaving delicious, red bumps on my skin.

Maaaaashitsayo.

Tuesday 19 June 2007


Okay and also before I forget! Katie and Sian !.. Good Luck Ladies for your degree results ! Im so proud of you both girlies! Youve both worked hard and deserve good grades so leme know asap what you both get :) Im waiting for the good news so I can go and celebrate out here for you both. Woooohoooo! :)


So my weekend and day off wasnt as expected but full of blessings and totally relaxing! Friday morning I headed to Cheonan-Asan Station and thought Id bought a ticket to Daechon. Bikini, Suncream, Bible ...all ready to go. I waited at the platform and the second that it pulled up I realised the train was on its way to Daejon not Daechon.Make it or break it time i decided to just get on the train anyway and see what fun I could make In Daejon instead. Lol. Daejon for me is seriously too big and confusing. Too many tunnels and roads and department stores.. yawn. Anway I did a bit of shopping and got some dinner and had a walk around in the sunshine :) I then ventured back to Cheonan and chilled out in my local jimjilbang for a few hours and slept and chilled out with the poking ajumas again. I actually fell asleep after Id been in the sauna on these mats that are lay on heated marble o the floor. They are lay under some kind of lamps to relax the body and the mats have little teats on them. I feel asleep for about an hour on my front so when I got up my whole body was covered with little red indented cirles. The ladies thought it was hilarious. Im glad I gave them a good giggle. Ive made some good friends in there! Seriously, theres something so beautiful and natural about being in a setting where women are washing and scrubbing eachother.My local is such a great place. Oh! Ill be gutted when I get back to the UK without my jimjilbang time! I cant imagine not being able to chill out and without getting poked at by korean women and children anymore! Thinking of strangers prodding about, I was on the bus the other day and this ajuma sat behind me starts playing with my hair. I turned around to smile and see exactly which ajuma was fiddling around with my locks but when I did she let go of my hair and rapidly spun around and pretended she'd not even touched it. I couldnt help but laugh.I nearly wet myself. She couldnt have been anymore heavy handed or obvious. The proding, stroking, poking, touching...it goes on but never anything threatening which is GOOD!

Anyway the rest of my weekend was pretty cool and relaxed. Saturday I hung out with Byron and Avie on the new Coffee Bean Decking in town in the sunshine. We must have been there for about five hours just gassing and catching up. It was nice to just have a relaxing weekend after another mad, busy week. I seem to be getting busier out here recently. If its not a meeting or a social or work or the gym I always seem to be on the go which is good for me but knackering sometimes. Today was another long day. I started at 11.30am and got in at 9.45. Pretty tired and refusing to open my bottle of wine coz I know I wont get up in the morning for my meeting. Itll knock me out Im that tired.

Having good nights sleep the past few nights after a few bad nights of being unable to sleep properly.I hate it how when us humans have stuff on our mind that eats away at us we're unable to just switch off for the night! Its so hot here now that Im wondering how long my nice nights dreams'll last. Luckily my mint fan is silent so I can sleep with it on but these mossies HAVE to go. They love me and Im getting covered with the things. The one on my thigh looks like a cow/human bite. Think my coworkers are wondering how Im spending my weeknights! lol

Thursday 14 June 2007

Day off :)

So Ive got a lovely day off tomorrow and am soooo glad I dont have to go into work :) Im gonna go down to Daechon Beach early in the morning for a total chill out and some proper good time out with God. Theyve got a wicked mud spa there which Im gonna relax in too. Bliss dahlings !

The Hagwons been better recently as Im quite busy and time seems to go quickly. The kids are adorable and keep me going when I have a bad class :) My manager told me yesterday that my holidays will be changed. Instead of having them in July Ive now got to wait until August. The good news is I still have 9 days off. Mum has mentioned me coming home for the week but theres not really much point as after the holiday It'll only be about ten weeks and Ill be due to come home anyway ! The bad news is that all my friends here have their hols mainly in July so if I do wanna get away then Im gonna be going solo. Thailand by then begins its rainy season, same for Vietnam Im guessing. Singapore may not be safe to venture to solo and Indonesia too. Shame but Im sure Ill make the most of it where ever I am :) Arggghhh...! :)

Well.. just another short one. My blogs got pretty crap (I apologise) but Im just so busy. Ive got tons of photos though to show you all when I get back so dont be sending me angry emails girls ! lol

Sleep and BEACH!

Monday 11 June 2007

Pirate Party and Planning Ahead... Or Not


So Rhys' Pirate Party headed off with a bang this weekend as we all headed down to Seoul on the KTX. It was to Itaewon first and then Hongdae for some proper pirate partying. It was a nice break away from Cheonan for the night as I havent been on a night out in Seoul since New Years Eve so it was extremely cool :) We hit a few nice bars in Itaewon, rather packed out but very friendly Wolf Hound and then on to a house club in Hongdae. Good fun all round me maties although I wont be venturing off to Seoul again for a long time! :) I decided to hop on the KTZ at 5 ish with Alex and Arran and it was pretty nice seeing Seoul City so early and so calm and quiet in the morning. And hilarious to still be in out pirate outfits sat on the train back to Cheonan :) Talk about snorting like pigs with laughter (note: this is a SERIOUS case on a Korean train) You talk you get shusshed at. You laugh and you get shouted at. We behaved but I snorted alot. (A mortal sin on any Korean train at any time of the day OR night).

Was nice to go home when I was ready and not have to wait about in a smoky club waiting for everyone to be all danced out. I wanted food and bed so we went to Mccy D's and I had three Mcdonalds. No kidding. What an ajuma....but Ive seriously lost the drinking urge since I got here. Goodness knows how Ill cope when I get back home with you girls opening the wine everynight. Girls.. youre gonna laugh when I get home... this girl wont be even attempting to drink anyone of you under the table anymore. Mark my words ladies ! lol. The fag dirty habit has finally been kicked to the curb (hooraaayyy..except on very stressful occassions and with the odd drink)..the dirty pint guzzling down in the Pack Horse when I arrive home will probably not even be on the cards.Then again itll be Christmas and me and Bridget Jones will most definately be in my Mums garden bum potting after a few shandies :) Lets hope we have a white Christmas eh Kez ?! IF Im home...!

Ive been thinking alot about what Im gonna do next after my contract ends here.Ive had so many ideas and there are soooo many possibilities about where to go, what to do next, who I could hook up with. Its in my nature to race on and plan ahead and God is telling me again and again and again to just chill myself out and be still yet I still cant seem to just wait and be patient. I just know the things I want to do and the places I want to explore and its so hard sometimes to just trust in God and let him guide me instead of me trying to take charge all the time. Ive been struggling now for the past five weeks with this irritability of not knowing what Im gonna do next and the intense urge to plan on ahead. For years Ive always known and had planned what next and because I dont know exactly what next Im trying to plan, plan, plan and to be honest nothing Im trying to plan is working so Im trying my best to just think and pray really hard about it. I honestly think I dont trust in God fully enough sometimes and I should. Someone from church said to me before I left said something along the lines of, 'dont always try and plan things yourself and worry about what youre gonna do or how youre gonna do it, just pray and let God take over' Its true but its scary for someone whos pretty control freaky with their own life. I was told a few weeks ago by a Christian couple I know that they think Im in a really good place right now.To be honest though Im a bit scared coz the things Gods been talking to me about recently are just like .... boy am I really ready for this ? I suppose God will MAKE me ready if Im supposed to be. We'll see. Ill have to put away my multitude of diaries and just be patient.

So, Im going on on a morning hike tomorrow early to pray and chill out which should be nice and Ive got Friday off this week so Im thinking about heading down to a convent in Busan for some serious still time with God :)

Its already 1.10 am. Ive just watched a really sad Korean film and its time for bed.Ive needed a good cry for weeks now but not allowed myself the pleasure (or the pain) My head hurts Ive cried so much but hopefully Ill sleep well tonight coz for the past five nights + Ive not slept well at all. I think maybe a good cry was needed and this film sure got the tears rolling !]

Anyway, enough blabber. Sleep Girl Sleep ! :)







Wednesday 6 June 2007

Compassionate Ministries

So my day off today has been soooo good ! This morning I had my Compassionate Ministies meeting and had the pleasure of meeting Stan Martins LOVELY wife. She is SO LOVELY ! For those of you who read my blog in Korea- (coz Im not sure if anyone does) we need you help with the Compassionate Ministries team. Stan Martin will be giving a sermon on the 17th (if all goes to plan) and he's gonna ask the church members to get involved. We need people and we need people to commit to just an hour (or MORE !) a week to help out with various things we want to get involved with. There are so many things to get involved with- Isabel has done so much leg work in finding out about things we can help with over the past few months (hard work) that everything is ready. We just need people to help ! There is the orphanage in Ssang Yong Dong we need help with, working with single parents (cleaning and playing with children/ babies ect), feeding the homeless and other things too. Compassionate Ministries needs YOU ! So start to pray about it!

He said to his disciples "The harvest is so great, but the workersa are so few. So pray to the Lord who is in charge of the harvest; ask him to send out more workers for his fields" Matthew 9:37-38
I met up with a korean friend of mine today who I met in a Jimjilbang a few months ago. She phoned me this week really eager to meet for dinner and Ive only met her once so to be honest I arranged to meet her but didnt really know which friend I was actually going to meet! I seem to meet that many different people here its hard to keep track sometimes and this has happened more than once... eekkk. Anyway, we met at noon and she took me to her husbands restaurant. It was so nice and shes a really lovely lady. I think shes pretty lonely as shes moved around a lot in the past few years with her family and a lot of her friends are in Seoul. She misses her mates and I miss mine and it makes me feel blessed again to have people around me like I have. God has been amazing to me and is constantly showing me how much he loves me by putting people in my path particularly when I need or want some extra company or comfort!

We had a good chat for two hours over the best most delicious beef kalbi Ive had here in Korea! Shes just found out she is pregnant and is SO HAPPY as it'll be her fifth baby..shes seriously GLOWING. (It makes me get excited about pregnancy coz sometimes I only hear the negatives working in a hospital and all!) She is a lovely lady and it was really interesting to get the chance to speak to her a bit more today. Im gonna be spending a lot more time with her I hope. You know how sometimes it can be a little awkward with foreigners due to language barriers etc? Well I dont feel any of that all all. Shes very like me- very talkative !

Well. I feel like Ive made another good friend here now plus I managed to share a bit of my testimony with her today which was fab and shes really interested in coming to my church next week with her kiddies so Im really happy about that. She opening a new dance workshop just by my apt and we passed her studio today which is lovely. She'll be teaching Jazz, Ballet, Tap and Traditional Korean Dance and Im looking forward to something new I can get my teeth stuck into rather than the weights, constant running on the treadmill and being pestered by certain desperate korean boys/men who just want their egos boosting. No ta.Ive had enough. I dont go to the gym to look gorgeous, sweat free and sultry. I go to work out, to get sweaty, to burn off those calories not to pull thanks very much. Stay Away from the English Girl. Seriously.LOL.

Anyway...did a bit of shopping later on today and met up with Jen, Tina and Martie for coffee and some girlie chat, treatment at Lee Chard, and then later relaxed in the jimjilbang. Always feel like a new woman after a good hour there. Ready for a long day in the hagwon tomorrow, yoga, an easyish one on Friday, a Pirate Party for Rhys' Birthday in Seoul on Saturday night (wooohooo!) and then kids club at church on Sunday. Better get some sleep yo.