So its another week in the Hagwon and yet again its only Tuesday and I feel as though its about Thursday already! Okay! I love my Hagwon but it can be hard work sometimes and really frustrating with the language barriers and the repetitive Joanne... Joanne... doanne...do.. do...teecher.. teecher.. teeacher....I hear this in my sleep zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.Arrrrrrrgggggghhhhhhhhhhh !!!!!!
Considering Ive never worked with kids full time before I think Im doing an okay job but sometimes it can just be so frustrating. Sometimes I just think..am I really helping these kids? I know deep down I am coz Ive seen progress in students Ive taught and stuff but sometimes when I dont see progress straight away I get bothered. When other teachers get the praise for the work that Ive put in it gets me down and I just think why am I putting in so much effort when its not recognised? I know this is SO bad for me to think. I just cant help it sometimes. I know its wrong! I know I should want to help teach these kids and not care if I dont get the credit for it but when its done sneakily its gets right up my nose. I find it hard to really talk to my co-workers about the teaching as the only English speaking teacher here has a male, korean, power issue with interpretating.
I guess sometimes in life we have people we clash with. I have definatley got one I clash with at this point in my life. LOL. Despite this fact Im trying. Very hard. For once Im trying to be a peace maker, to bite my tongue every hour of the day when I have a short class change and grab a quick cup of coffee in the staff room. Its tough. My hagwon has another English speaking contest coming up this month. Ive not been asked to help which is great coz Im busy enough (!) but last time my co worker asked me to write one of the speeches to help him so I did as it was easy for me and I had lots of time back then to help out. He was really worried as he said he didnt have the time and it was difficult for him to write. I researched it ad wrote most of it and one of the children won from our hagwon which was great :) (I think she got second prize) However my coworker didnt make it known that I had written most of the speech therefore he got the credit for it. I also found out that it also helped him to get a pay rise...dont get me wrong he works hard but argggggggghhhhhh ! A few other minor things have happened which makes me just think I cant trust him like him asking if I can lend him huge amounts of money and not tell the rest of our co-workers or manager.Its such a shame. I really crave a good conversation in the day, a good friend in between my lessons to chat with. Now Im just really quite wary of what I say and do, things I shouldnt have to worry about.
Anyway, I am not perfect myself and am a constant work in progress. Maybe I get under his skin as much as he gets under mine... I freakin' hope not :(
Anyway, like I said Im trying my best and am praying about it! We have good days and bad days, good times and happy times and there are people who we struggle with and who we just have to try with even though we dont really want to. Im learning that we've got to just try to keep a smile on our faces throughout even the testing times even if its really difficult! Even with the difficult people... arrghhh.
So today as Im drawing my anorexic, diseased ox (coz I cant draw to save my life ) and my rather chubby, short legged ostrich on my white board for a class room full of screaming kids, (my ears ringing of course) I try to just smile and look at the good things here. I REALLY dont wanna be a witch teacher that the kids remember when they look back a few years down the line. I wanna be remembered as the nice, smily, foreign teacher from that little place called England who was just lovely! AI was with a Korean mate of mine on Sunday and as we were walking down the road an ex pupil of hers bumped into her and started shaking incontrollably with tears. I couldnt believe it. I was so touched. He had really missed her and she obviously had such a big impact on him that he broke down when he saw her. It spoke volumes to me. Its so hard though sometimes to be the happy, energetic teacher full of light! Dont get me wrong, I usually am ;) but after certain comments in the day... oh it just grates on my soul.
The same co worker I have a problem with said to me a few weeks ago that sometimes he feels like he's the only one who cares about the students at the hagwon and I suddenly felt really upset. Did he REALLY, SERIOUSLY think this was true or was it just another sneaky way of getting to me again when I put in so much hard work there? I do care about these kids here and I think deep down he knows it but I am just baffled to why I get these comments thrown at me? Could someone please explain ?!!!!!!! lol
Anyway Im going on randomly again and havent written anything interesting for a while I suppose ! Ive been very busy with appointments and meetings and stuff. Me and my Korean friend arranged to go for a chill out morning last week. We spent the morning in the jimjilbang and then she treated me to an amazing facial locally. I felt like a princess. This ajuma made my skin glow! Te weekend was pretty busy too. Helped out with Compassionate Ministries in the morning and then dinner and shopping with Isabel and Juri. The weather is getting evenmore humid and the mossies are rife! They seem to love my knees and despite my to attempts to keep them away (my anti - mossie plug ins and various amounts of anti mossie sprays) somehow they still find a way to nibble away at me leaving delicious, red bumps on my skin.
Maaaaashitsayo.
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