Different Ideals of Beauty

You know sometimes when you get that frustrated that you wanna scream really,really loud for just one minute to make yourself feel tons better like a kid does? Well I wanted to do that today. Twice actually. Not just a quiet scream but a really, really loud one. One that could burst your ear drums. One that would really hurt if anyone heard it. I think if I go hiking on Saturday when I reach the top of the mountain Im going to think back to the times today when I wanted to scream my head off and yell as loud as I can :) RELEASE !!!!

Sometimes the frustration of not speaking Korean takes its toll on me but instead of screaming something in me just goes a bit mental instead! Haaaaaa :) Anyway...its just one of those things I've still got to get used to. Am determined to learn a few new phrases and words this week but you know what ? Even when I have Steven in the class with me to interpret the words I give them some of the kids still dont understand...haaaahaa. I got to laugh about it maaaan :)

Taught the teachers for a while after my last proper class. Its a bit annoying the way that Im just sprung on with lessons and not told when and when not Im supposed to teach them but anyway...another thing Ill have to get used to this year I think! Its really nice to have a chat and teach them a few new things but still, the language barrier is so difficult sometimes. I just wish that I could just have ONE conversation with them in Korean or English. Just one so I could see what each of them are really like and talk to them properly about the things they want to learn from me. Would be so cool ! Today Sujan cried coz of the frustration of not being able to communicate with me properly. I felt her pain today and just had to tell her that I loved her after ( in Engish and Korean) and gave her a cuddle :( I wanted to cry with her today I really did :( !

Tonight we talked about beauty ideals in Asia compared to Britain. I explained how in the U.K a tanned body is quite the height of fashion (which has been in recent years). The women in my class discussed how they admire white skin and how they desire fair and pure like complexions. It reminded me of all the advertisements I surveyed and came across when I was doing my research for my Dissertation last year (Wow ! Cant believe its last year !! aaarrgghh ) and I felt really sad about it.... the way us women back at home go on the sun bed, how me and my mates slap on the fake tan and how we spend a fortune on the right bronzers to give us those year round 'glows'.The women here on the other hand opt for the whitening creams and last week whilst in Seoul I actually got a free gift from the clinique counter which consisted of a Derma White Moisture Bar, Derma White Super City Block (spf40), Derma White Moisture Cream, Derma White Powder Makeup, all packed into a whiter than white makeup bag with a white head band.My friend tells me that the products have some kind of reaction with the skin that evens out and lightens the complexion which sounds a bit scary to me even though they're clinique products! Skin bleaching... sounds painful :(

Designed for asian skins I certainly wont be using them as they'll probably strip the skin off my face.In fact, when I first got out here I tried a cream sample which brought me out in a full face of dermatitis which the doctor over here says I may have forever now (gutted) It's gone but it may come back with stress and that was one of these lightening creams.

Will be seriously careful in future about what I try. Next time I could be scarred. Wont need to pay for a face peel in a few years will just have to sample the cream I tried again a few more times :)

Anyway just talking to the teachers tonight made me think about the differences in how the women over here look after their skin probably a lot more than us Brits do. I explained to a mate how I cant wait to get on the beach in a few weeks time and she told me that its really funny to see as she explained that Koreans usually cover up their bodies some even fully dressed lounging on the beach in the complete and utter heat. You wouldnt see that in Britain I tell you now ! As soon as that suns out in the U.K which is incredibly rare I have to say, the guys have got their t-shirts off, the gals have got their summer dresses on with rarely care for any spf. Talk about asking for skin damage. I spoke with a male aquaintance about it the other day and he claimed that he cant wait for summer so he can see even more girls flesh...unlucky for him he probably wont be seeing any more korean girls flesh than he's seeing now.Little does he know :) Hee.

Its been interesting so far just chatting about it and Ive actually thought about how much time I sit in the sun without skin protection! A little worried about how I must actually look to the teachers and kids I work with. Suppose I go to the beach one weekend when its really hot and catch a great suntan. Will I look really burnt to them and ugly ? Its a strange thought but I wonder...!

I remember before I came to Korea when i was working on a makeup counter at Boots and an Asian lady came in to try some different shades of foundation base for her skin. I remember her husband with her and her gradually getting more and more upset because the colours I was giving her were not the light colour she desired. It seemed that she wanted a colour that was far too light and her husband was arguing with her speaking in another language trying to get her to choose a colour that was more of a natural, darker shade for her. This woman got so upset because he wouldnt let her buy a light shade. She got so upset she was practically crying and I really felt for her and felt a bit guilty that I didnt persuade her husband to let her have the colour she desired. She didnt speak much english but all I wanted to say to her that her skin was lovely the way it was and she didnt need a colour so light. Her husband also agreed but stil this lady had a mission to get lighter looking skin. So much that she appeared to be at breaking point because of it :(

I wonder what its gonna be like when my kids are grown up. What the new fads are gonna be. What women are gonna desire to look like and become compared to what we want to look and desire to be like now. Its a shame us women cant just be happy and content with what we've got.Maybe one day we will :) Have got to say though that I cant wait to see people on the beach this summer fully clothed :) Will post some pictures I promise!